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Mentorship is a lot Like Dating

Posted by: Tom Hanley
Posted: April 14, 2016
Categories: Uncategorized

It seems like many of my peers have confused mentoring with networking. “Mentor” is a word tossed around a lot in the young professional world and yet seems quite misunderstood.

My heart breaks just a little bit every time I hear how a friend is “getting coffee with their mentor for the first time and they can’t wait because the mentor is a key person in an industry in which they are passionate.”

Nine13sportsI want to stress to you who are coming into your own here in Central Indiana that you simply can’t pick your mentor because of who they are in the business world.  A person who helps you form business relationships does not define a mentor.  It’s about much more than that.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have three mentors play an active role in many of my decisions.  They act as a sounding board as I navigate my own career and wrestle to understand what opportunities are out there to make Indianapolis an even better community.

Funny enough, my mentors have nothing do with my industry.  One is a very traditional businessman, the other is an entrepreneur in every sense of the definition, and the third has been involved in everything from politics to shaping Indianapolis through the business community.  One is in his late 50’s, one is in his late 40’s, and one is in his early 40’s.  On paper, they don’t have a lot of threads in common, but they’re all key assets in my daily world.  The many conversations we have and the advice I receive from them have directly shaped the successful path that Nine13sports is on today.

I had a college student recently ask me how I found these mentors to play such an important role in my life.  I honestly did not have an answer.  It seems as if they’ve been in my life all along.  They just sort of appeared one day and never left.  I never asked if they were my mentor; they never told me they were my mentor — it just happened naturally and organically.  I’ve shared more coffee and beer with these three individuals than I ever could have imagined and feel extremely fortunate for the impact they’ve had in my life.

Sometimes when I get together with them, work is the last thing we talk about and I still learn and gain valuable insights.  At other times, whatever the latest work issue that I’m dealing with is the entirety of our conversation.  These relationships never started as an opportunity to network.  Through time, built trust and solid advice, it has evolved into mutual respect and meaningful relationships that continue to develop me as an individual.

tom_hanleyI share my successes and failures before anyone else with these three individuals.  I don’t hold back when things are going wrong and more importantly, when things are going wrong they help me work through whatever problem is at hand.  These are the people who when I’m told “good job,” I know I’ve done well because accolades aren’t something they hand out lightly.

Every young professional should have someone they trust, someone who plays a mixed role of business advisor, professional colleague, friend, parental figure and trusted soul.  Nevertheless, it is not something that you can simply set your mind to find but must be open to when it occurs naturally.

It’s actually a lot like dating.  Sometimes you find someone whom you think would be a perfect fit but they aren’t interested; other times somebody takes an interest in you but it just doesn’t seem to work for you.  Then occasionally you meet the right person and fireworks occur.

Give it time, be patient, be authentic and yourself.  Most importantly, don’t settle for a mentor that doesn’t create that unique spark that drives you to be better in all areas of your life.

IndyHub
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