Why would anyone get married in the winter? My guess is so they can go on a tropical honeymoon in the winter, which isn’t a bad idea . . . except for traveling wedding guests. I have three weddings to attend in the next two months, can you tell? Don’t get me wrong. I’m very excited! But the boring, flat, not-long-enough to fly drive home, so soon after the holidays, necessitates finding ways to survive the trek.
Before You Go:
There are a few must-haves for road trips: music, entertainment, and planning. In my car, there are three essential playlists: throwback jams, car dancing, and crying – sometimes ya just gotta play some sad, sad Sarah McLaughlin and let it all out?
Podcasts: Let me just go ahead and suggest you download all 12 episodes of the NPR podcast Serial. Do it. Don’t even Google it. Just trust me on this one. The new Invisibilia and the classic, tried and true: This American Life.
The New Slug Bug: I travel alone, and I’m 27, so slug bug won’t cut it. An alternative is a little game I like to call Humans on the Road (influenced by Humans of New York). As I speed past every car possible on the trek east, I people watch. If I’m really really lucky, I’ll catch someone else belting out TSwift with no shame.
Where in the World is the Next Starbucks?
Another game is “reward yourself with Starbucks for every car that’s worse than yours.” This really rarely happens, which leads me to my next tip:
Pro Tip: Map it out! What’s the coffee version of ‘hangry’? Whatever it is – I have that. Gas station coffee just isn’t my idea of a treat. One, I have to get out of the car, and two, all I really want is a zillion shots of espresso, which gas stations don’t typically provide. On my particular route, there are two Starbucks, and one’s in a Kroger. Part of the reason I plan ahead for alternative coffee stop plans.
Gas Stations: What are they good for!?
Besides gas, fountain pop, and questionable bathrooms (Loves all the way, by the way, for a cleaner bathroom experience), gas stations are an opportunity to do good. You may be feeling pretty selfish about dreading the drive that leads to friends and family.
One way to keep you in check is paying it forward! Whenever I’m feeling grumpy about my drive, I think of truck drivers working to ensure I have that Starbucks I desperately crave and gobs of other daily essentials. That profession’s impact goes unnoticed, so I suggest your kind gesture go towards them. (I just might not suggest paying for their gasoline. . . have you seen how big those tanks are!?)
What to do When You Just Can’t Drive Any Moreeeee?!
Pay attention to road signs because some are really funny. There’s one near Cinci that reads “Never Ending,” I swear! Also, a point for random stretch your leg adventures! Via my route, I pass both the Indiana Basketball Hall of Fame and a Wright Brother’s Museum. South, towards Kentucky, you’ll pass by plenty of stops along the Bourbon Trail! They may be off the beaten path but always worth the while.
You’ve Reached Your Destination:
You’ve realized your childhood bedroom isn’t as big as you remembered, your not-so-young-anymore ‘younger’ brother still lives at home, and you’re asking yourself “have we only ever had one bathroom!?” My suggestion is booking a room! Your mom won’t be mad when she remembers you still fight with your brother.
I’m not suggesting staying with a friend, or a hotel – no. Pick the cute B&B that’s always been right up the road on the river that you never knew existed. It’ll keep your anxiety low and family fights at minimum.
Being a Tourist in Your Hometown
Does mom still drive that old Black Keys cover art mini van? Who cares if you’ve moved up in the world? Ask to take that old babe for a spin down memory lane. Some of your old stomping grounds may have changed. Some are unapologetically still the same. And think of the opportunity for a few classic Instagram photo-ops.
There’s the “I’m standing on a log, obviously aware of having my picture taken, but I’m looking somberly off into the distance because in my mind I’m in an Anthropology magazine.” (That’s my fave!)
There’s the iconic #FromWhereIStand photo op which you’re going to need to take while wearing those fancy new wedding-going kicks, but I suggest creating your own version, like my From Where I ‘Handstand’:
 |
 |
 |
Traveling home again? So soon? I double dare you to make this trip less boring and to leave me your tips in the comment section below please!
